It is done

It is done. I have a headache from not eating last night. 

when I got off work yesterday, I came to the house, got all my things gathered up, threw stuff away and started going through it all. I waited for him in the garage and I told him...

" what I have to say will be hard, but I have to say it: I'd rather you hear this from me, then read it on text or through a phone call. I'm not happy, and I know you're not happy. Things with us haven't been good for awhile and I have emotionally detached myself from you to protect myself. When you drink, you become a totally different person, I didn't appreciate how you spoke to me, spoke of my family and spoke to your mother." He said he can work on that...

I told him it was too late. I have asked him before and he said he never had a problem, now that he was faced with losing me forever, he admits he has a problem and wanted to fix things. 

I didn't cave. I told him I'm leaving the pool table bc I cannot take it with me and he said he would rather fix this than have a pool table. I just laid the truck and mail key down and walked back inside. 

didn't want to argue, didn't want to Intice an argument so I just walked away. 

kept going through my things. He came in grabbed some stuff and took it to the garage. When I got to the garage he had all of his presents from Christmas bagged up and I told him he could keep those, he said there's already animosity here (pointed to his chest) and I don't want the memories. 

so I walked back inside. 

carried on, let my people know I was okay & continued packing. 

I layed down to sleep at 8pm, exhausted, yet at peace from this weight being on my shoulders. 

im hungry now tho lol probably why I have a headache. 

just waiting on my parents to get here and then I'll pack up the car and go. 

my mom is worried about me, which is understandable. My happiness in years past I let revolve around relationships and I know after going through everything I have gone through, that I don't need to be in a relationship to be happy. I am content on being on my own for a bit, being able to hang out with my friends, family, finally figuring out who I am, what I want out of life and what my goals are. 

being at peace is more important to me than living in a constant flight or fight. 

to those who understand I appreciate you. 

the journey continues...