Silence echoes in the mind & out loud. Conversations are shorter and the nights are longer, it is starting to become uneasy. Yesterday he decided to buy 3 different parts for the truck. When the truck was purchased, he was upset that my name was on the title and told me he would make sure I did not have a vehicle if I left him. So, every time he buys something for this truck, he says it's our parts or our truck etc., knowing well it is all his. I have a huge feeling in my gut that he thinks I owe him money for all of these purchases even after I told him I do not want anything that is tied to him. I even told him what he could do to rectify the situation but to no avail he still insists that he would make sure I would not have a vehicle. So, when he got back from the store yesterday, he stated that we have $100 parts for the truck, I said "we", he said yeah, we. I said, no you mean you. It is your truck and after-all, You and I had a conversation and you have been made aware that I will be buying my own vehicle and he said, no you're not. I told you, you wouldn't have a vehicle and I meant that. I said OKAY.
So, what he doesn't know, is I am buying myself a vehicle towards the end of the month and that I will be escaping this insanity of Control. I feel like as if I have no freedom. Constantly having to tell him who I am talking to or what I am doing on my own computer. He has flipped off my computer and my phone because he claimed that I was recording him (when I wasn't) and they were facing his direction. So, I now use my computer in the living room, out of his view, for his sake of not being imaginarily recorded.
I am beginning to understand that his previous GF had stated to him that he had a drinking problem and his response was that he is "Blue-Collar" and that there is nothing wrong with having a "few" Beers. His version of a few and my version of a few are quite different. Drinking to the point where you do not remember things is a problem. Starting to think me and his X GF have come to the same conclusion. This apparently occurs every 2 years for him. I am sure within 6 months of me leaving him, he will be in a new relationship & will be a constant cycle for him until he addresses his issue. I am very well content on not being involved with someone for awhile, focusing on my work and building myself back up. I have some of the greatest friends and co-workers and very blessed to have a wonderful family to reach out to if I ever need them.
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